Tuesday, October 28, 2008


To the three of you-:

May the lights, luck and fun make this Diwali special in more ways than one

May the happiness that this season brings, brighten your life

Hope the year brings you luck and fulfills all your dearest dreams

Wish you a very happy,prosperous and a cracking Diwali (sans the crackers)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Eve Rulz

It's about time I formulated my fictional rulebook for women. Thou shalt follow these commandments or be prepared to lose her to the serpent. NEVER hold me to ransom if I fail to live up to these rules.


  • One must never keep a woman waiting
  • One must never insult a woman
  • One must never curse a woman
  • One must never curse in front of a woman
  • One must never insist on Pizza in front of a woman (but you can have it nonethless)
  • One must always let a woman pass through
  • One must always open the door for a woman
  • One must never expect a woman to compliment your singing (but that must not deter you)
  • One must never ignore a woman
  • One must always give a woman an indirect compliment

I think I have covered all the bases, I think. If there are useful inputs, I might consider adding it to the list. Since I know not one of the three of you is going to give me a pat on the back for the title, I shall do it myself! Ha.

Image Courtesy: Dave Thomas Collection

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I know Alice, but who's Gary Lawyer?

There is something about Boardroom meetings that I find really fascinating. For one it breaks your love affair with the computer and changes the dynamics of what you are supposed to do at work. Too many boardroom meetings can also mean your work is taking a beating and time to fly the white flag.

Anyway this was my first boardroom meeting; I say first because everyone was sitting around an oval table giving the setting a fairly intimidating look. At these places you have got to talk to create an impact and more importantly listen to prevent yourself from being fired.

I was pretty cowed down for the first 10 odd minutes, carefully weighing my words and listening intently just so that I did not miss out on something. but as the meeting went on, I started to relax, the shirt sleeve started finding its way up to the elbow and I was playing the part.

There came a point when the performer for a night show was being talked about(Gary Lawyer) and I chose to express my ignorance in the public domain by asking out loud "Excuse moi, who IS Gary Lawyer". Silence all around, me boss looked at me, almost as if sizing up his opponent(who in this case happened to be the prey) and very calmly said "He is a footballer".

Ah, Sarcasm! I guess you get what you give but I loved the answer, not because I was the least bit enlightened but it is the kind of humour that suddenly makes you grin from ear to ear. Thankfully, he followed up that repartee with a fairly detailed explanation on how culturally ignorant I was, not to know one of India's finest exponent of Western Music.

I am not the least bit ashamed about Googlin' my ignorance and this is what I found about him-:

Probably the only English singer in India, Gary Lawyer owns the entire music industry as his pleasing baritone reverberates on it’s own. Often called the man with the 'Golden Voice', he is regarded as the finest Indian artiste in the field of Western Popular Music

Ignorance definitely wasn't bliss in this case


As the meeting went on, I became bold enough to start messaging in the middle of the meeting which was preceded by checking the score on cricinfo which BTW said 'INDIA Won'. Not the best thing to do but I am afraid, I don't care how important the meeting is, Cricket is just a tad bit more important. And I had to message coz some ignorant people(:P) needed to be told how important this win was !


The best line I heard(whilst eavesdropping on someone's phone conversation)-:

In America when you earn $10,000, you first learn how to spend $100,000

What a line! Puts the entire bank crisis in perspective( or so I am told)


Word of the day: Gobsmacked

Was used for me and I am still trying to figure out whether that was meant as a compliment or not!


Come to think of it, now I know who Gary Lawyer is, but who is Alice ? Smokie is yet to give us a satisfying answer to that question. Who can blame them, with a name like that for their band, I doubt if they would be able to give us a satisfying answer to any question!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Morning Blues and Tie'd to death

Q:What happens when you get up late ?
A:You reach office early.

This is the 86th time it has happened to me. I get up all flustered thinking that I am very late and in the bout of urgency that follows, I end up reaching my destination well ahead of time and that is something I really like :0. It's like the anti-Murphy law-:

"When I am in a rush, the universe conspires to get me to my destination well before time to leave me fidgety and bored"


Yesterday because of the absence of qualified personnel, I had to accompany someone for a business presentation. I was quickly given a standby tie( very efficient people) and was off. So, sporting a tie, neatly creased trouser, ironed shirt and a semi tonsured head(which still feels like a Persian Rug) it felt like I was transported back to me school days. Apparently that also qualifies for a half decent business presentation look so no one was complaining.

It was around this time each year that the winter gear in school kicked in and out came that tie. Unfortunately I was so darned organised that I never undid the tie knot through the four years that I had to wear it. While it saves time, it also means that I would feel like a fish out of water when given a tie in hand. But again, the tie I was given yesterday had the knot in place, all I had to do was tighten the noose and the lamb was ready for slaughter.


For those who care and those who don't, click on the link to read my Indian Open story, published exclusively for all three of you who read my blog. Two of you might not want to do it because it is about Golf and the third one, if you are trying to be nice and reading it then let me warn ya, if you are one who frowns over the misuse of the English language, then you are advised to give it a pass.


Would you exchange a walk-on part in a war for a lead role in a cage ?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Answer the Question

The last few days have been weird. weird good but weird.

Anyway, here is a message I got recently which asked me a question. I really would like to know what you think about it-:

The best of things fall apart, so labour not to make it last.
Instead happiness is in being happy now

Hmm...I know my opinion about the above but would really like to know your views.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Can music save your mortal soul?

Can it?

I cannot begin to describe the joy ride down to office today. Was feeling terribly tired and after the dinner celebration last night really did not feel like getting out of bed for office today. Somehow I convinced myself to get outta bed and got meself ready to park me lazy bum in office.

I started off with a frown but by the time I reached office and now that I am typing this, the look on my face has completely transformed and I am struggling to wipe the grin off me face. Ten minutes into the ride, this is the first song that plays on f.m.-:

"Where do you go to my lovely" -- Peter Sarstedt

I am not a sucker for lyrics, not one for remembering them anyway but this is one of the few songs that I can sing along( I know almost half of it and anyone who knows me would understand that is a big figure).

It did not end there. This is the list that followed-:

  • To Sir with Love
  • I'll Follow the sun (Beatles)
and then...
  • Bridge over troubled waters ( S n G)
I don't know what you call good music but this would be somewhere near the top of my list but wait, the story aint over. Just as I paid the 20 bucks and floored the accelerator they play-:
  • American Pie ( Don Mclean)
Now, that is what I call shout on top of your voice, 'bring on da headbanging' kinda music. Remember the rock concert in college last month and the statuesque pose I maintained thru the evening ? If you want to know what makes me act like you wild kids at a concert then play this kidna music :)

Add to that the snow in Kashmir and it was just the perfect weather to 'roll down the window and enjoy the drive' kind of day. Oh, before I forget the mystery girl.. There was this car tailing me ( well, it was behind me anyway) and as the wind lashed the toll bridge, her hair seemed to blow in the breeze in a very 'out of a film set' kind of way. Now the mystery girl is gone !

Wait, I am beginning to think all this is because of the Rum Chocolate my mum made in the morning!


Last evening, I had reached home a little before the usual time and just when I thought I would relax and unwind, I had to slip into more 'publicly wearable' clothes coz we had to go celebrate Nitin's Skoda. So we drove down the expressway for what I thought would be the usual, Dominos ( and I wasnt complaining) but we ended up going to this really nice place called Yu Turn. Exotic frontier and Pan-Asian food was the line that caught our attention and the food was really good.

You know I would be the last person to talk about food so trust me it is a 'nice evening' kinda dinner place. Not as expensive as we thought it would turn out to be, so definitely worth a visit

P.S. Notice my 'I think this is how I should describe it' writing style ? Yes, words fail me today( as on most days), so have to resort to this ' not very elegant but still make it understandable to the others' kinda writing style !!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Quick Byte

Two signs that student life is a thing of past-:

1) When you end up going to work on a day most banks are shut. Apparently today was Valmiki Jayanti, a regular part of the annual holiday calendar

2) When people you are used to seeing regularly might no longer be around, on a regular basis that is !

3) You cannot not do work.

Fine, that was more than two but then the third point was equally important

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Thank You Mr Wilkins

Can you not see the grin on my face???? While all those 'loserish autograph hunters(*sheepish Grin*) went after Liang, I hung around long enough on the 18th green to wait for Allan to seperate himself from the crowd and had a small chat with him which largely involved me being tongue tied and not knowing what to say even though he pretended to be very human. Considering that the man covers so many sports I always wanted to know whose company he enjoyed the most- Vijay Amritraj, Dom Boulet or Geoff Boycott. I got the answer from the horse's mouth: Vijay Amritraj and Dom Boulet !


Another highlight of the week for me-:

Really enjoyed my first stint covering a big tournament. As it turns out Aabha Rathee( a very talented writer who works with Indian Express..If you don't trust me then go google her name) stumbled across me blog. She is one of the very few journalists who actually covers the game the way it ought to be covered. Follows the entire round with the main group and then files her story. The difference in her report and the report filed by other people is quite visible because you will always find something in her story that no one else could have possibly covered sitting in the media room ogling at the giant screen.

Aabha, if you read this...please keep the Wilko Autograph hunting bit to yourself.Pleeaaase :)

The tournament also gave me a chance to interact with some other golf journos including the two whose work I get to read regularly- Moushami Bora(T.O.I.) and Robin Bose(H.T.).

Of Course a longish interview with Daniel Chopra and a little interaction with Jeev Milkha Singh made this week special. All in all a really good few days. Period.

Autograph please

I am quite enjoying this...sitting here in the media centre and Allan Wilkins sitting a couple of bays ahead of me. Last few days I have had the chance to meet and talk with quite a few people. Saw so many players from close range, through their practice drills and their round, had a chat with Jeev's dad, the legendary athlete Milkha Singh, but not once did I feel the urge to go and get an autograph. I decided some 10 years back that there is no fun in hunting for autographs.

But yesterday when Allan Wilkins walked into the Media Centre, I must admit for the first time in quite a few years I really felt like going up to him and getting an autograph. I cannot quite understand it because its not like he is the most famous person doing the rounds of this course this weekend but he is still a big star for me. Maybe it is because I have idolised guys like him and Harsha for such a long time.

Yesterday I even went and did rounds of the production office to catch hold of him but could not find him. But now I am writing this, he is sitting just a few meters away merrily chatting with the folks around him. I just don't know how to go up to him and introduce myself for the fear of getting tongue tied. Damn! I did not think twice or skip a beat when Danny's manager came to me yesterday and said "here, go do your exclusive interview with him right now" but right now something is holding me back.

I wish I had gotten my camera along. It is so much easier to ask someone to pose for a pic along with you than asking them to sign on a piece of paper. But what the heck, its not like the next time he sees me he is going to remember I was the jerk who kept pestering him for an autograph.

I will wait till he is in some secluded corner and pounce on him for an autograph.That way at least I get to keep my dignity in the public domain.

I even tried that last evening when he was giving a long interview, just when I found my chance someone else pounced on him, started talking to him and whisked him away :(

Today is my last chance. Let us see what I can do

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Janamdin Mubarak Ho !

In a few hours Mr Sinha will be bringing in his 22nd birthday. For those who do not understand it, that means 22 years of useless, crappy, 'want to barf right now', 'make me deaf' kinda jokes. But thankfully thats not the only thing about the man.

For the last five years, it has been a funny bond that we have shared. When in school we were never really as close as we are now. Maybe distance filters out the useless jokes and only brings to the fore the good times. Having said that I must confess, any tale of Navtanay without his jokes is really like saying the best thing about a Pamela Anderson are her eyelashes!

This chap grows on you and unfortunately so much that he is the only guy I can honestly say I have been in regular touch with and still continues to call even if I forget to return his calls. He who started off as a Kishore Kumar fan, now boasts of a music library that contains all kind of junk that you kids apparently call music these days. I remember he had come over once and one of my other friends who met him for the first time later said " Woh tera dost--Heera ladka hain". Which in English means- That friend of yours is a pearl! Err....I guess what he was trying to say was what a fantastic guy he is and I think the reason why he said that is pretty simple-:

  • No Hangups
  • Nothing that comes remotely close to being associted with ego
  • Extraordinary self depreciatory ability
  • A warm personality
  • An understanding friend
  • And most importantly: Ability to make a woman fly after kissing her ! (please forgive me :-D )
- Sorry dude, thot I would list out 22 compliments for you but the list ran out pretty quickly!

Unfortunately I cannot put up any picture of his because the only thing close to cute and publishable about him is his 10 year old brother. But I am sure everyone who knows him would agree with me- 'He is a good guy'.

Happy Birthday Sunita!

p.s. please take this as my penance for not wishing you when the clock strikes 12. Dude, I have better things to do in lyf ;) !

Monday, October 6, 2008


Isn't it absolutely amazing when you discover a new talent that has been hidden for many many years? What would you know, you probably don't have that kind of reservoir of talent! I chanced upon this gift of mine and I am so happy I did. I realised that I am Ambidextrous. Yup, you heard that right, AMBIDEXTROUS.


I always knew there was something special considering that I used to bowl left handed and bat right handed but could never prove it.

It came to my notice that I am as creative( and darned good) while drawing with my right hand as I am with my left hand. The following picture will demonstrate how there is absolutely no difference in the quality of art even though I was using the right hand which I have never used before for drawing-:

The truth is in the pudding!

Don't ask me where, when and how. Oh well... Since you ask, this piece of genius was worked on at 5:30 in the morning with two people standing right behind me( Judging me) putting that much more pressure. I am just happy that I could turn around and say, Ha!

I wonder if Leonardo could recall where he was when he worked on The Last Supper.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Auspicio Regis et Senatus Angliae

Nestled in the middle of the Noida Golf Course is a historical monument of great significance. As I was going for a walk around the course and the sun was melting in the west, its rays shone brightly on this monument which leapt at you out of nowhere. As you stand in front of it, you realise the beauty of the grand structure which has wide steps (in all likelihood built when the monument was built) leading up to it giving it a rather royal look.

Today it serves as the tee box for the 16th hole on the course but any player teeing off from that point would be overawed by every brick in the monument, each of which seems to want to tell a story

As I climbed up the stairs and stood in front of the arched structure I read what was inscribed on the structure-:

Near this spot
was fought
11th September , 1803
Battle of Delhi
where the mahratas led by
M.Louis Borquien were
defeated by the British led by
Gerard lake

There was something inscribed in Urdu near the bottom of the structure and I guess that it probably conveyed the same message. On top was carved the coat of arms adopted by the East India Company in its later years and a message in Latin(I think) which read-:

Auspicio Regis et Senatus Angliae

Translated, it reads " By the command of the King and parliament of England" which was the motto of the East India Company. According to historical records available-:

"The Marathas fought bravely but lost due to the cowardice of French officers who were assisting them. After this battle the areas of Haryana and Delhi came under the British."

Neatly inscribed on the back of the monument was the name of the contractor who was assigned the task of building the monument - Roopram Nannay Singh and also the name of the architect- F.Lishman. As I walked away, what struck me was the beauty of the structure as it stood out in the middle of nowhere and how hardly anyone knows such a structure exists. I will try and go to the course one of these days and click a few pictures of that monument and put it up on the blog. Such significant structures should not be lost to creepers

Friday, October 3, 2008

50 first dates

I got my fourth-first pay cheque today and it is beginning to feel like the movie 50 First Dates, except I am yet to acquire an acute case of amnesia. Each time this first pay cheque comes along,it is supposed to be special. At least this time around it was slightly more than the Rs 400 that the folks at HT Next sent my way some four years back. I don't know why that stopped, coz considering the amount I blabber it might not have been a bad idea to continue with my contributions.

Actually come to think of it, I do remember why I stopped. Initially those guys were so starved of contributors that my article used to be published the very next day after I sent it but with time their pool of contributors grew and their response time to my articles dipped. So even though they did publish the article( i cannot think of any rejected piece) sometimes it used to get printed a week to ten days after I sent it. It kind of killed the spirit of some of the articles. Once I shifted to this side of the Yamuna, the newspaper barons refused to acknowledge my requests for a copy to be sent across and that was that. I made an honourable exit from my stint with the 'print media' !

But whatever said and done there was always the thrill of seeing the name come in print, something I always used to look forward to. A byline is a byline is a byline. It was on the strength of those articles that I went to the chaps at TSM in 07' to get meself an internship. While the internship did not materialise at least I got a job with them now. So maybe the article in HT Next did play a nice bit part in me employment.

Now when I yearn to get a piece printed with my byline, all that I get to do is ghostwrite for my boss and my work appears under his name. Apparently his name is more 'sellable'. Well, who can blame their way of thinking, my boss is a 17 time India international; Of Course his name is more sellable!!

But I shall wait, my time shall come and maybe one day you will see that outdated first name with an unbelievably long surname in print. But till such time all I know is that I have to stop dreaming and prepare meself to get outta bed at 4:30 in the morning tomorrow to start my second month at work.

Ah, life IS a bed of roses..


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Happy Birthday to the Mahatma

Gandhi's Shoe

While boarding a moving train one day, one of Mohandas Gandhi's shoes slipped off and fell upon the track. As he was unable to retrieve it, Gandhi - to the astonishment of his fellow travelers - calmly removed his other shoe and threw it down the track to where the first had landed. "The poor man who finds the shoe lying on the track," Gandhi explained, "will now have a pair he can use."


In 1910, Mahatma Gandhi was sent to prison by South African prime minister Jan Smuts for leading a passive resistance campaign opposing discrimination aganst Indians in Transvaal. From his jail in Bloemfontein, Gandhi sent Smuts a letter offering his "sincere regards." "The prospect of uninterrupted study for at least a year," he declared, "fills me with joy."

Gone in a puff

Mahatma Gandhi upbraided smokers for misusing their nostrils as chimneys. That Gandhi secretly puffed in his school was and was weighed down by remorse is recorded by Robert Payne in his immensely readable Life and Death Of Mahatma Gandhi. In 1924 Gandhiji wrote an article in Young India objecting to the issue of a new brand of cigarettes by the late N.S.T Chari called "Gandhi Cigarettes". Chari at once renamed his cigarettes as "Silver Cloud" and as newspaper editor Pothan Joseph quipped "sales dropped and it melted like clouds in the silver sky."


o U.P.A. !! While the new smoking law seems exciting, I really do hope it is implemented because half the wonderful laws are lost in implementation and the other laws are just plain stupid.


And Importantly, Arnab Dada-:

Herzlichen Gl├╝ckwunsch zum Geburtstag (Happy Birthday)

(I have a sneaky feeling this impression will not be appreciated in today's hypersensitive environment. tsk tsk tsk)